The Daily - Wednesday, October 10, 2018

BLAME THE VICTIM?

In today's "The Daily" podcast, the NY Times interviewed a group of high school girls about their thoughts, impressions, and concerns originating from the Kavanaugh confirmation to the Supreme Court. The NY Times also revealed the interview with two adult women about the topic of "Who is Believed and Who is Blamed?" Overwhelmingly, the responses of these women (some young, some mature) is that women are blamed and men are believed when it comes to cases of sexual assault, violence, and rape. For me, it was heart-breaking to listen to the adult conservative woman, herself the parent of a victim of sexual assault, blaming the victims for these heinous acts, and minimizing the effect that sexual assault and violence has on victims.

Just as shocking was to hear the high school girls tell stories of how they were assaulted and disrespected simply for being women. It is still going on today, in high schools and colleges and businesses all across the nation, in houses were social events are being held, on streets, in parks.

Let's be blunt: women are under attack by men. It can be a cat call, a grope in a crowded room or bus/train, a push/pull into a dark alley/driveway, a push/pull into a bedroom, and so many other ways. Men exercise their physical superiority in the wrong ways and with bad intentions.

And let's be clear on one thing: we should not blame victims, not ever. Never can we use the way a a person is dressed, how they laughed or acted, where they were, what time it was, whether they had consumed alcohol or used drugs, or any other factor as an excuse for any type of violence against them. There are no valid excuses that justify violence against others.

Finally, we must become sensitive to the long-term effects that even a seemingly small act of violence can have on a person. PTSD in these cases is real, it is long-lasting, and cannot be dismissed as a victim's invention or excuse. Nor can we dismiss that victims fear reporting these horrendous acts, and they dread the consequences of speaking out. Why? Because we almost always blame the victim and believe the attacker. That is wrong, wrong, WRONG!