Last week (was it last week? days seem to run together in the worst of ways) Tracey and I met with Chris Gibson of Lexington Medical Center. Amongst many other duties, she manages the Cancer Support Group that meets at the hospital every Wednesday morning.
During the conversation it became clear that I have been making a mistake all through Tracey's cancer treatment. From the beginning, I have referred to it as "our" fight against the disease -- meaning that Tracey was not alone and that the kids and I were fighting with her. What I learned last Tuesday is that this took away a great part of the disease ownership from Tracey. So I must stop referring to this as "our" fight.
May this be a lesson to any one that is a cancer patient caregiver: make sure you do not inadvertently take away ownership of the fight against cancer. Some people may prefer having you fight with them side by side and call it "our" fight, but some may not.
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