I am catching up with blog entries so forgive me if this is a bit outdated (by a week).
Last Wednesday Tracey and our friend Nesa (also a cancer survivor) went to the Cancer Support Group. At one point over 18 months ago I understood that this group was open to patients and their family. But late that night, I was told that caregivers are not welcome at this group meetings. One of the reasons given is that patients/survivors would sometime not feel comfortable sharing their feelings if their caregiver was there. Hmmm ... it sounds like there are unresolved issues that need to be addressed between these folks.
The comment ("caregivers are not allowed to come to the support group meetings") left me angry and bitter because I perceived it as if we were told: "You are just the caregiver and you need to deal with whatever is coming at you in whatever way you can — you do not need any help from a support group like ours." I was also told that they are "considering" having a support group meeting when caregivers can join once a month.
Well, let me tell you, those of us that have loved ones fighting cancer are not just bloody caregivers that can handle anything and everything. We have feelings and fears and anxieties. We have hearts that break everytime we see our wives, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, friends affected by this damn disease. Ironically, we may feel we cannot share ANY of these emotions with our loved one because they are already dealing with so much themselves. So we swallow it, smile, and try to continue with life the best we can.
And, yes, cancer sucks and I hate it. :(
1 comment:
I share your feelings, Victor. I am currently a caregiver for my husband during his second autologous stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma. We are away from home for the third month since September when he was diagnosed on a routine physical. The 24/7 caregiving is sometimes overwhelming. Yes, he has different feelings and needs than I do. Yes, the clinical staff caters to his needs. Yes, he tries to protect me from his raw feelilngs. But God has asked me to be His hands in this journey. And I am not alone. Bless you for the work that you have done with your wife. You are not alone, either.
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